The Record of Unusual Creatures - Chapter 388

Chapter 388: This is Heaven, Please Make Yourself at Home

 

Hao Ren looked at Big Beardy, feeling surprised. Things did not seem to be going as expected—the pagan who believed in the goddess of creation, which the Disciples of Glory put their faith in had proposed to see the big boss. Was it going to be a religious or diplomatic issue?

In fact, Hao Ren had also considered the right time to bring the four ascetics to see Raven 12345. After all, this was the “rule” of his house: when new members joined, they had to report to God.

However due to the special status of the four ascetics, he never dared to mention it. Mainly because, he was not sure what role Raven 12345, a licensed goddess would have in the minds of the ascetics, who believed in the goddess of creation. And as a goddess herself, could Raven 12345 tolerate a group of mortal believers? Of course, he did not need to worry about the second question. Hao Ren had never seen anyone more open-minded than Raven 12345 in his life. The goddess was so broad-minded that Hao Ren wondered if she had any feelings at all…

“Is there a problem?” Big Beardy looked at Hao Ren calmly and said, “Oh, I understand. We can’t go and meet the goddess as we like.”

“That’s not the problem,” Hao Ren said as he looked at the “pagans” and felt the pressure. He did not expect to face such a scenario in his life. “A person going to McDonald’s in a KFC uniform would easily lead to a criminal case these days. Do you think it’s okay to meet another goddess? Let me declare that, although I have no intention of offending your beliefs, the goddess above me is a licensed one.”

Big Beardy’s face finally twitched, but then he smiled and said, “It’s okay. Our belief in the goddess will not waver because of other things. We are just curious about what the goddess you mentioned looks like, and wonder what she thinks of us.”

Hao Ren had no choice but to nod and say, “Okay, all of you are clever, so you should know when to keep quiet. Try not to talk about the question of faith and issues of ‘real god or false god’ later.”

The four ascetics continued to nod and said, “Of course, we are aware of that.”

They were wise enough to know that it would be awkward to bring up issues on real gods and false gods. So, they kept their mouths shut and allowed the Data Terminal to activate the teleportation portal to goddess’ house.

With a flash of white light, Hao Ren felt that he had accomplished an unprecedented feat: taking a group of pagans to see God, and this sentence was a declaration.

The white light dissipated and Raven 12345’s gorgeous house appeared before them. Hao Ren had not visited for quite some time; the familiar fountain and garden made him feel at home. The four ascetics looked at their surroundings in amazement once they opened their eyes. One of the usual amusements of such religious people was probably imagining how a god’s house would look like, but very few actually had the chance to see it. Now that they were there, they could not help looking around constantly.

After surveying the place, the young ascetic muttered a little doubtfully, “It feels different from what I had imagined…”

“Well, it’s not as magnificent as I had pictured it,” echoed another young nun. “Although this space looks really magical and the architecture is gorgeous, as heaven… it feels a little bit small.”

Hao Ren smiled and explained to them, “This place is actually just her temporary office. It is said that the headquarters is in a place called the City of Shadows, which is much bigger and wider than this place.”

“Oh, that’s understandable,” Big beardy said, although he was still puzzled. He pointed at the big house and asked, “But, what’s that hole for?”

Hao Ren looked up and began to sweat immediately. A shuttle had crashed into the house previously, however the damaged that was caused had already been repaired. But now, there was another big hole in the roof and a great cloud of black smoke billowed out of the big hole. Only God knew what that goddess was up to again…

Hao Ren was about to explain the situation to them when the door of the house suddenly opened automatically. A blue elemental creature then came out. Hao Ren listened to the creature’s jabbering and understood that Raven 12345 was already aware of their arrival. She wanted the arcane servant to take them to see her.

“Let’s go.” Hao Ren beckoned the four ascetics and said, “Let’s meet the goddess here.”

Led by the arcane servant, they passed through a long corridor as well as a little, empty sitting-room before they came to a gorgeous round hall that Hao Ren had never seen before. This magnificent round hall was resplendently decorated with exquisite murals and mysterious reliefs that filled them with a sense of awe. Raven 12345 was standing on a pedestal in the centre of the round hall, posing before a crystal barrier.

Before Hao Ren could speak, Raven 12345 waved her hand behind her, signaling him to be quiet for a while.

Hao Ren was puzzled by Raven’s strange behavior. He had never seen the goddess so serious. She was standing on the pedestal with such reverence and majesty; her whole body exuded a sense of inexplicable holiness, plus she was surrounded by a mysterious radiance. At this moment, Raven 12345 actually looked like a goddess. Hao Ren immediately had a feeling that his goddess was probably absent from work again. The lady in front of him was most likely Raven 23333…

But halfway through his thoughts, the holy goddess on the platform proved her identity with her actual actions. She suddenly jumped down, stretched her body and yelled, “Jeez… it’s so tiring. Yo, Hao Ren, you brought some visitors? Have you told them that there’s no lunch here?”

“…”

Big Beardy looked at this scene with an opened mouth, pointing at Raven 12345 as he was at a lost for words. After a while, the young ascetic asked, “This…”

“This is our goddess. Don’t look at me, I don’t know why. It’s an arrangement by the organisation.” Hao Ren dropped his head, but he was familiar with Raven 12345’s style and soon adjusted himself. He looked up at the goddess and asked, “What were you doing just now? I thought you were about to go up to heaven.”

“The Vallelaena Civilisation Sphere is celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Church of Divine Truth’s founding—I am their goddess, so I was just showing my face and saying a few words to wish them Happy New Year and whatnot,” Raven said these surreal things casually. “They’re a bunch of very amusing fellows. Although very close to me, their culture makes me speechless… Forget it.”

Hao Ren was surprised. He never thought that a goddess like Raven 12345 would be a serious goddess in the eyes of mortals. “Aren’t you uninterested in being their god? Plus, I remember you saying that you didn’t preach at all.”

“Me not preaching doesn’t mean that people don’t believe,” Raven 12345 said. “More than 100 years ago, I helped them solve a little problem, and in a few years they managed to develop a church of tens of billions of people. And they really figured out a prayer service that could talk directly to me. It’s like the phone number is leaked. I can’t avoid or stop it.”

Hao Ren was stunned. He did not know how to evaluate this. It was clearly beyond a normal human’s perception of the world. As a human being, it was difficult for him to understand how gods felt when listening to prayers. Raven 12345 patiently explained, “Actually, praying is a bit similar to sending someone harassing messages. In most cases, a mortal’s prayer is like a complaint call, telling you that his life is bad and the things he wants. People put two pieces of meat on the table and light two incense sticks, then want you to help them solve their problems like quarreling among family members, declining businesses, wives refusing to come back home, kids refusing to go to school and things like that. People think that immortals are always free to just sit at the reception desk and answer the phone all day. That’s why I’m not willing to preach. Of course, the Vallelaena Civilisation is a little bit better. Most of the time, they sing to me when they’re praying, even though the song hasn’t changed for the past 100 years…”

The four ascetics stood there like stone carvings. Hao Ren estimated that the impact of this meeting was enough to shock them until lunch. He poked Big Beardy in the arm and said, “Hey.”

The four masters recovered from their surprise and the young nun muttered, “That’s the way the gods look at ‘praying’.”

Hao Ren hastened to correct them and said, “Don’t take this as a reference!”

“I’ve read your report,” Raven 12345 said as she looked at Hao Ren. “What you found is very valuable. There are a lot of things that I didn’t have time to investigate. It seems that I was right to give this task to you. But we’ll talk about it later. First, let’s look at these…”

Raven then turned to look at Big Beardy and the other three ascetics.

“The goddess you believe in is a very interesting existence. I’m currently investigating her identity. Do tell me something about her.”

Chapter 389: God and Mortals

 

As soon as Raven 12345 finished her words, the atmosphere immediately turned tense. The four ascetics did not know how to respond. Hao Ren could feel their awkwardness: as a group of devout believers, what was the appropriate response when they were in such a situation?

Hao Ren began to imagine the kind of fanatics he had seen in other stories. He felt that the most suitable scene for the situation now was for the four ascetics to immediately take out their swords and rush towards Raven 12345, shouting “Fight for our Lord!”. Then they subsequently get killed by a series of lightning strikes from Raven 12345. But after thinking about it, he found that it could not be this way. Mainly because, it was not the mortals, but the goddess who said such uncomfortable words.

And based on organizational structure and induction process, this unreliable sister was more like a genuine goddess.

Apparently, the four ascetics could also think about this point, so they struggled: At this moment, did they have to care about the dignity of their goddess? Did they have to explain to the greatness and importance of their own goddess to another goddess? No matter what choice they made, it was going to be awkward anyway. They were either sorry for their beliefs, or sorry for logic.

Most important of all, all religious conflicts in the world were among mortals. The case was different when it was a conversation between a believer of God and a real goddess. The four ascetics obviously lacked the corresponding work experience…

But luckily, the four ascetics were wise enough to know that they could not use their own views to determine whether the goddess of another world was real. Also, they were mentally prepared before coming here, so they quickly calmed down and began to tell Raven 12345 about the teachings of the Disciples of Glory and the image of their goddess.

They spoke slowly and paused several times in the middle of their conversation. No matter how well-prepared the four ascetics were, they still faced a lot of unexpected bumps. They still talked to Raven 12345 like they were preaching and in the middle of their conversation, they kept being interrupted by Raven. She would say things like, “Oh, I’ve done this before…” or “Oh, my archbishop suggested this to me before, but I found it troublesome so I didn’t do it…”

It looked like a group of young monks was preaching and a real God was squatting there, listening to them…

Hao Ren was there to witness this strange scene.

After a good two hours had gone by and Hao Ren was almost asleep, the four ascetics finally finished. They all had sweaty faces at this point. The unprecedented conversation made them very nervous. They thought their minds were strong enough, but they did not expect themselves to feel shaky like children who witnessed the revealing of a real god for the first time. Raven 12345 was not surprise. The four ascetics were truly devout, so they were bound to be suppressed in the face of a true goddess.

This was an ambiguous “symbolic” effect. No matter how true their goddess was, as long as these believers’ words and actions conformed to some subtle “characteristics”, they were bound to be disturbed by another true godor goddess.

What made Raven 12345 interested was that this “disturbance” was more intense than she had expected. The faith of the four mortals was even shaken when they faced her. They behaved as if they were meeting their own goddess of creation.

This phenomenon had a special significance: What the fours ascetics believed in was probably a true goddess. It was the only way they could unconsciously “recognise” other true gods.

The goddess of creation in The Plane of Dreams was most likely a true goddess, who conformed to the “GSO9001 True God Accreditation” of Xi Ling Celestials and the “Three Tests of a Godhead” of the three celestial systems.

However, the goddess may only have characteristics of a true god, but did not possess real ability. The goddess of creation had yet to show much strength after all. According to Hao Ren’s report, Raven 12345 inferred that the goddess did not have the ability to create something out of nothing, or the ability to rewrite the rules of the universe. Otherwise, her way of life-sowing would have been done in a more high-end form: she could have created the biosphere directly on the planet, rather than sow some corporeal “primitive seeds”.

This was a goddess who seemed muddled and did not possess any power of a true god. But at the same time, she did resemble a true god in some form. Raven 12345 squinted and found that the situation was a little tricky now. Something she had been investigating for a while seemed to coincide with this.

“It seems that your belief system is perfect, very… spot on,” Raven 12345 said as she looked for more appropriate words to evaluate the Disciples of Glory. “There are some signs of blind development. Obviously, you are not directly guided by the goddess. You believe in the process of development, but the overall structure is in accordance with healthy sectarian regulations.”

Big Beardy had a peculiar reverence for Raven 12345 under the inexplicable disturbance of his soul. Nonetheless, this awe did not control his mind, so he still retorted, “No, please forgive my rudeness, dear goddess, but I don’t think you’re right. We have always been taught by the goddess of creation. We can hear her voice, and her messages are clearer as well as more direct than other false gods. The Disciples of Glory have been developing under her teachings for 3,000 of years, and she has been guiding us directly.”

Raven 12345 raised her eyebrow and said, “Oh? You think you can receive clear messages from the goddess? It seems that your understanding of it is wrong.”

The four ascetics immediately looked at each other. Raven 12345 snapped her fingers and they immediately heard an unusually respectful, but slightly agitated voice of an old man in the air. “Oh Lord, are you calling your servant?”

Raven 12345 was talking to a believer in a distant galaxy. “Umm, Wilton, you’re studying artificial souls, right?”

“Yes, My Lord. We are trying to decipher the mysteries of the soul. Are we doing something wrong?”

“No, you are all very motivated. That’s good. I just want to encourage you and let you know that your project is on the right track.”

Raven 12345 disconnected the call and shrugged. Before the stunned individuals she said, “See, this is a god’s message.”

Even Hao Ren was surprised. His lips twitched as he looked at the goddess. He then asked, “Umm… Shouldn’t messages from a god be vague, weird and incomprehensible? So that people can’t get the meaning even after they’ve pondered for months? How could it be so… simple and direct?”

Big Beardy nodded immediately. He obviously agreed with Hao Ren in this regard.

“No. Do you know how many people would lose their life this way?” said Raven 12345. “Do you know how much influence a god’s message can create? Under no circumstances can the future of a civilisation be pinned on a vague word. I’d rather make everything clear. Of course, for most civilisations, I would choose not to take care of them. I’ll only teach them a lesson when they meet real trouble and tell them clearly why they were beaten.”

Raven 12345 looked serious when she said, “Our boss told me before that a true god would not give mortals a bunch of inexplicable punishments, and then let them guess what they did wrong in fear. That’s not the way to raise kids, that’s how you tease cats. As a god, you have to be really responsible and make things clear. And I agree with that.”

Big Beardy looked at this “heretical goddess” who gave him a sense of awe. He was reluctant to accept her weird “divine rule”. However, there was some truth to what she said, and this clear explanation was very friendly to those with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Most of the time, people with OCD could not be high priests because they could not stand the problem of missing words and grammatical confusion when trying to communicate with God…

“To sum it up, I think your goddess should be in a very strange state,” Raven12345 said, ignoring Big Beardy’s complicated expression. “I’m willing to admit that she is a goddess, but she is now clearly in a… poor state. Even if she is an ordinary super life form, she should have the ability to have a clear conversation with you, but you say that you can only hear some vague voices?”

“Yes,” Big Beardy nodded and said.

“Only someone who’s senseless and obsessed with the theocratic game would deliberately engage in such a mystifying trick. And no matter how senseless she is, she can’t possibly continue this joke for 3,000 years. If she has a normal mind, she would have had a few normal conversations with the four of you during the past 3,000 years. But the situation now is that you can only hear some obscure murmurs, which means that she’s very weak. This even shows that she has already…”

Raven 12345 suddenly stopped talking. She smiled and looked into their eyes as she said, “I have some investigations under way, but that’s part of the secrets of the gods. Anyway, thank you for your explanation. It has helped with my investigation. You can rest assured that I have good faith in your goddess. And if possible, I will help her.”

Raven’s words were somewhat baffling, but Big Beardy was convinced for no reason. The four of them nodded respectfully.

Raven 12345 then turned to look at Hao Ren and said, “Now I finally have time to talk about your work report… You’ve done a great job this time, just in time for the annual bonus too. I’ve got some extra rewards for you.”

Hao Ren was thrilled right away!

Chapter 390: The Gods Are Crazy

 

While the four ascetics were still immersed in their unspeakable mental state of awe, Hao Ren was thrilled because of Raven 12345’s words: An annual bonus! Rewards! Fringe benefits!

Hao Ren felt cheated since the day he signed the contract. He had gone through a bunch of dangerous and inexplicable things, but the work benefits of the new unit were the one thing he was satisfied with. They were not bad. Although the unreliable Raven often made a mess of what she was supposed to send to him for a lot of reasons, have you ever seen any company on Earth giving you a car and ship within six months of working? On top of that, the ship was not an ordinary ship, but an actual spaceship.

So, Hao Ren was looking forward to his annual bonus.

Raven 12345 did not let him wait too long. She slashed the air and one by one, she moved a couple of things out from the dimensional crack. “According to our company’s contract, the annual bonuses are here…”

Hao Ren’s expression quickly shifted from anticipation to dullness with an “are you kidding me?” look.

“Fifty kilograms of rice, fifty kilograms of flour, ten litres of oil… Yes? Any problems?” Raven 12345 asked when she found that Hao Ren was still standing there. Hao Ren was unsure of what to say at that moment, so he asked, “…This… is the annual bonus?”

“Yes.” Raven 12345 nodded and said, “You should’ve already known when you signed the contract. The annual bonuses of heaven include rice, flour, and oil. Of course, this is limited to standard carbon-based biospheres. Some places receive sulphuric acid, gasoline, and silicon crystal plates…

Hao Ren looked at the pile of things, feeling that they belonged in the streets or office rather than heaven. But it seemed to have been written in the contract. He could only sigh and assume that the gods were all crazy. They gave you cars and spacecrafts as a small award, but only two bags of rice as an annual bonus…

He soon knew that he had underestimated the powers of these psychos. Raven 12345 was still digging stuff out. “…Here are two boxes of snacks for you, half a bag of tea seed oil, a box of Golden Apples…”

Hao Ren saw a small box filled with more than 10 golden apples and the apples were covered in some kind of mysterious brilliance. He was thrilled and asked, “What did you just say?”

“Golden Apples,” Raven 12345 said. “They are a classic variety cultivated by the goddess of life. It looks like a legendary fruit on Earth, so it’s called the Golden Apple. This is not real gold of course. It’s edible.”

Hao Ren then asked, his voice beginning to tremble, “What-What’s the result of eating it?”

Raven 12345 pondered for a moment and said, “There aren’t any special results on me, but it’s said that if mortals eat it… it can at least eliminate all diseases and help grow back broken limbs. Oh yes, it can also extend one’s life expectancy for hundreds of years…

Hao Ren’s heart pounded. After confirming that Raven was not joking, his eyes shone as he asked, “They’re all mine?”

Raven nodded but Hao Ren was still puzzled. “But the problem is… putting such a box of treasure together with rice, flour, and oil, don’t you think the package is a little weird?”

“There’s nothing weird about it. The annual bonus includes rice, flour, oil, snacks, and fruit. Rice, flour, and oil can be kept for a long time, but fruit can’t. So, we changed it to Golden Apples, which can be stored for a long time. We’ve been doing it for thousands of years.”

“Just for this one reason? Because it has a long shelf life?” Hao Ren almost cried out.

“Yes.”

The gods were all crazy!

“There is one last thing,” said Raven 12345 as she took out some red paper from the dimensional tear. “Chinese New Year is just around the corner, so I’m giving you this couplet—this is my own handwriting. Paste it on your door and it will turn your house as well as anything within a two mile radius around it into a holy sanctuary.”

Hao Ren accepted the couplet with a weird expression on his face. He unfolded the papers and saw some scratchy words written on them. The first line was, “I’ve been thinking for two months and I don’t know what to write”; the second line was, “I’ve been thinking for another three days”; and the horizontal scroll read, “As long as there’s a word on it…”

The whole couplet looked so scratchy that Hao Ren suspected it was written with a paint brush. However, when Hao Ren was holdind on to it, he could feel a certain warmth. A dim glow flowed around the handwriting and there was a faint, sacred atmosphere surrounding them.

“Umm… Can I not paste it on my door?” Hao Ren was struggling inside. He felt like he always got into situations like this every time he met her. “I’ll keep it as a treasure.”

Raven 12345 waved her hand and said forthrightly, “Come on, I’m very optimistic about you. This is a bonus for you, and maybe I’ll even give you another one next year.”

Hao Ren was about to cry. He really did not want to admit it, but he was worried about how this thing would affect the appearance of the city…

After Hao Ren kept his “annual bonuses”, Raven 12345 talked to him about things that happened in The Plane of Dreams. Hao Ren admitted that he ended up using the orbital bombing to kill the First Born (which he did not discuss in detail in his report). Strictly speaking, even if it was justifiable, it was against the rules. Thankfully, the end results looked good.

However, he did not expect Raven 12345 to just smile and say, “Well, it seems that you’ve already figured out how things work…”

“Huh?”

“Sometimes you have to deal with problems in a simple and crude way.” Raven 12345 smiled and said, “Throw a bomb to solve all your problems. If you can’t do it, you don’t have enough guts. As long as you can get things done, it’s okay to blow things up.”

Hao Ren’s lips began to twitch. “That doesn’t seem to be appropriate,” he said.

Raven 12345 laughed and said, “You did a good job anyway. But remember, it’s still risky. ‘Explosions’ should only be used when you don’t have a better option.”

Then she waved her hand and said, “Let’s talk about it later. You probably now realize that The Plane of Dreams is bigger and wider than you think, right?”

Hao Ren nodded and said, “It’s a sea of stars.”

“Yes, a sea of stars. I’ve told you before that The Plane of Dreams is a real world like the Surface World. You should’ve already realised then that the universe and the starry skies in The Plane of Dreams were not just background pictures. So, are you going to investigate the situation of other planets in The Plane of Dreams?”

“Yes.” Hao Ren laughed and told her his next plan, “I’ve decided to start with the siren’s origin. The news of the Day of Return came from them. I suspect that their true purpose was to prevent other unusual creatures from returning to Holletta. But, they want to use Holletta’s power for themselves, so that they can go back to their home. This is what I’ve just realised. If I can find the sirens’ home, I’ll probably figure out what caused the big time-traveling incident 10,000 years ago.”

Raven 12345 looked at Hao Ren with satisfaction and said, “Very good. Anyway, you’re responsible for this case now and we’ll see what you can uncover. I’m also investigating something here. Although I have a general idea of the cause of the calamity 10,000 years ago, I’m unable to find out the details. Perhaps, your intelligence is the key…”

Just as Hao Ren was about to chat with her politely to con her into giving him more funds, they suddenly heard a shout of anger coming from outside. “Crazy woman! Get out here! Where’s my sword?!”

Raven 12345 looked anxious when she heard this. She turned around and got ready to run away. Hao Ren shouted at her, “Hey, hey, what’s happening…”

“I have to go now. My enemy is coming for me! Let’s meet again next time…” Raven 12345 said without turning her head.

Before she finished talking, they saw a flash of blue light in front of them, and the nervous goddess disappeared. Hao Ren and the four ascetics looked at each other in consternation, not knowing what had just happened.

A moment later, the door of the round hall was kicked open violently and an unusually tall woman with long brown hair stormed in. The woman was surprised to see Hao Ren and the four ascetics. However, she sensed the lingering smell Raven 12345 left behind in the air, so she frowned and asked, “Where’s that psycho?”

Hao Ren was not sure what was happening, but he knew that since this lady had the guts to break in and say such words, she had to be an acquaintance of Raven 12345. He did not want to offend her and answered, “I don’t know. She said her enemy was coming for her, and then she ran away.”

“F*ck! Again…” The tall woman… or the goddess violently hit her fist. Suddenly, a voice came from the corridor. “Chief! There’s a teleportation portal reaction in the arcane hall!”

The tall woman immediately rushed out in the blink of an eye. A moment later, they heard the sounds of explosions and fights in the distance. The four ascetics looked at Hao Ren in bewilderment and asked, “This is?”

Hao Ren quickly lowered his head and dragged them out of there. “Don’t ask. Maybe it’s a war between gods…”

Chapter 391: New Year

 

After Hao Ren and the four ascetics left “heaven”, they teleported back to the market in the Southern Suburbs instead of home; firstly, it was because Chinese New Year was just around the corner and it was time to do some shopping—after all, his otherworldly tenants were having their first New Year there; secondly, he wanted the four ascetics to be oriented with local life, so that they would at least not put up under the TV tower again…

During the time in Raven 12345’s place, the four ascetics had received some major mind remodeling. They had no problems conversing in Earth’s language now.

Streets in the normally-quiet Southern Suburbs were becoming busy as locals who left to work in bigger cities were returning for the Spring Festival. The atmosphere in town was festive as lanterns could be seen all over shop fronts, and street stalls sprang up like mushrooms after the rain. Hao Ren explained what China’s Spring Festival was all about as he led the four curious ascetics through the streets.

Big Beardy was listening, but his mind was somewhere else. He had been in a mental shock ever since he met Raven 12345; he did not know it was a “symbolic” influence as a result of his belief in God. He was wondering if there was a problem with his faith in his goddess. Listening to Hao Ren raving incessantly, he could not help but quietly say, “I felt an indescribable pressure when I was talking to that foreign god earlier. As a devoted believer of the goddess, I should not have revered other gods. Could it be that the foreign god has some kind of psychic power?”

His voice still reflected a sence of reverence when he mentioned Raven 12345.

Hao Ren thought about it for a while; he had not felt what Big Beardy was feeling. “Is that so? I didn’t feel it though, and I was standing next to you.”

Of course Hao Ren could not feel it; the mental shock Big Beardy and his company were having was a result of their devout faith. Deep down in their hearts, they could not help but recognise the divinity of Raven 12345. Hao Ren did pt share the same faith, and thus was immune; to him, Raven 12345 was just funny.

Luckily, Raven 12345 was exactly that. If not, Hao Ren would have been condemned to be struck by lightning for his contempt.

The grey robes on the four ascetics were ragged and they have been especially unsightly for the few days. Hao Ren was used to them, but he could not ignore them now with all the curious eyeballs staring in their direction.

Just as Hao Ren tried to trace the stares, his neighbour, Madam Lee, suddenly appeared before him. The elderly woman, whose face was wrinkled like the skin of a winter-kept apple, grabbed his hand. “Hey kid, you’re doing charity, eh?”

Madam Lee was the most sarcastic person he had ever known before he met the MDT. He immediately understood what she meant and waved frantically, explaining, “No, no, no. They’re my friends. You know, bad things happened in their hometown, so they’ve come over to stay a few days…”

He did not dare to tell her that they were his distant relatives—the four ascetics did not look Chinese in the slightest!

Madam Lee sized Big Beardy and his company up before she asked Hao Ren in a very concerned voice, “Are they from Ukraine?”

Hao Ren nodded his head stiffly. “Yup, there’s been a terrible war… Even mountains were levelled…”

Madam Lee was appalled. “Aww! That’s terrible. I heard the news from my grandson too… You should make a police report just for the record, in case they’re spies…”

The elderly woman was very cautious. Cold sweat trickled down Hao Ren’s back. He nodded his head frantically and said, “Thanks for the heads-up. I think I better not bother you anymore…” Before the elderly woman could ramble again, he quickly added, “By the way, they understand Mandarin!”

The elderly woman was stunned and she quickly walked away. Hao Ren knew that the news of foreigners in his house would spread like wild fire in no time—the elderly women was a blabber, and she had more than handful of children living around…

Big Beardy had no clue what Ukraine was. He came up and asked Hao Ren, “Are we giving you trouble here?”

Hao Ren waved his hand. “No, it’s fine. When Wang Daquan first came, he did not just scare the elderly lady out of her skin, two red army veterans almost called the police and formed a neighbourhood watch…”

Judging from Y’zaks’s appearance, Big Beardy could not help but nod his head in agreement. “That’s totally understandable.”

Hao Ren’s mouth twitched as he looked at their ragged robes. “You may not like it, but I have to say this. Shall I get you guys some new clothes? The problem is, your appearances are drawing attention for the wrong reason. People are mistaking you for the homeless.”

He said it for the sake of saying, thinking that the four ascetics would not be bothered as they were ascetics. But Big Beardy nodded happily and said, “Yeah, that’s great! That’s great!”

Hao Ren was surprised. “I thought you didn’t mind draping yourselves in ragged sacks? Wouldn’t new clothing conflict your ascetic practices?”

Big Beardy was perplexed. “Why would it? A beautiful house supports one’s health, food satisfies one’s stomach, beauty softens one’s will, but what harm would fine clothing cause? It’s just a piece of fabric.”

Hao Ren could not make sense of it; he thought that fine clothing was a luxury. However, as he pondered more about what Big Beardy had said, he was speechless. Big Beardy was right; fine clothing pleased the eyes, anything that pleased the eyes was vain. So to them, luxury and enjoyment did not really exist. They were merely illusion!

Hao Ren was enlightened. He began to have a deeper understanding of their ascetic practices. Nonetheless, he was still curious. “Then, why don’t you guys change your robes?”

Big Beardy looked down at his robe and shrugged. “Because we have no money. Even these robes were provided by the Church.”

When it comes to honesty, no one can beat the four ascetics! he thought.

He then brought the four ascetics into a clothing store. He bought every one of them a set of clothing at discounted prices—it was the year-end sale.

Clothes make a man, and the four ascetics transformed themselves. Big Beardy chose a Chinese-style cotton jacket and his Eurasian appearance made him look like he was an international investor. The other three were no less stylish—they all had a calm demeanour, which they acquired from their years of ascetic training. Hao Ren was pleasantly surprised to discover that the young nun, who had always been hidden in a hood was a pretty woman!

After their New-Year shopping, they ambled back to his home. This time, no one came up and asked him if he was just coming back from a feed-the-homeless programme. He stumbled upon Lily and Vivian as he reached home. The two maidens were standing right in front of the house as Vivian took her key out to unlock the door. Hao Ren called out from afar. “Hey, Lily, Vivian! Back from shopping, eh?”

Lily turned and saw Hao Ren. She dropped everything and ran towards him. “Landlord! We’ve bought a lot of stuff for Spring Festival!”

Hao Ren furrowed his eyebrows a little as he walked her back to the house. “Oh ya… I’ve bought a lot of stuff too.”

“Must have spent a lot of money, eh?” The frugal vampire’s mouth twitched.

Hao Ren quickly played it down. “Oh, that’s okay. It’s the Spring Festival. We have a lot more people this year, and you know what? I’ve got a bonus from Raven 12345!”

They got inside the house, and tipped their shopping bags. The table was full of groceries, the floor too. Hao Ren took a carton out carefully. He said, “Everybody come closer. This is what Hercules nearly died for… I’ve come back with a carton full…”

Chapter 392: Family

 

When Hao Ren took the carton out and placed it on the table, it attracted everyone’s eyes. Even Becky, who was lying on the couch watching TV listlessly smelled the scent and turned to look. The fruits were giving out a golden glow, which drifted off like a mist in all directions. The mysterious mist-like glow suggested that the fruits were out of this world. Lily was always the first out of the gate when it came to eating. She picked one of them up and sniffed incessantly. “What’s this? An apple? Why is it this colour?”

“It’s my year-end bonus. Although it’s categorised as a staple food, I think it’s the most valuable thing I’ve ever got.” Hao Ren was pretty much in tears and laughing as he told them about the origin of the Golden Apples. “Oh, besides, I’ve also got a couplet, but let’s just leave it for another time. Now, let us share the apples evenly among us. If what Raven said is true, eating the apples might extend your life by at least several years…”

Lily’s brows were scrunched together instantly. “We are otherworldlings, not spirits. We don’t attain our current abilities via spirit practices.”

Instantly, all eyes were on her. Vivian jabbed Lily on the head and said, “You’re supposed to be the least qualified person to say that! Don’t you forget your husky spirit!”

As the two were about to quarrel, Hao Ren quickly shoved the apples in their hands and diverted their attention. Everyone received two apples and there was one leftover. Hao Ren put one of his into the Dimensional Pocket while he munched on the other one. He walked around with the extra apple, contemplating who he should give it to . Then, he saw Lil Pea gnawing the table.

“The kid’s biting things again.” Hao Ren quickly picked the little mermaid up and an idea crossed his mind. He placed the apple in front of Lil Pea and asked, “Hey darling, do you want it?”

Vivian, who was munching on her apple graciously looked up and said, “The kid’s only interested in wood…”

But before Vivian’s voice trailed off, Hao Ren saw that Lil Pea was checking the golden fruit out. She banged her head against the apple—she wanted to take a bite, but the fruit was too smooth and round. She did not know where to begin.

Lil Pea hit her face on the apple a few times, but she still could not get her teeth on it. She looked up at Hao Ren with her tail wagging, and yelled, “Dad-dee! I want this!”

It was a surprise. Hao Ren never thought the little mermaid would be interested in the Golden Apple. He had tried many times before with normal fruits, but she was never interested in them. So, he figured that the scent of the apple was probably not the thing that attracted her. Perhaps, the Golden Apple had something special that influenced her.

Nevertheless, it was a good thing. Hao Ren quickly cut the apple in half, and then in smaller pieces before shoving them to Lil Pea. He offered the other half to Rollie the cat, who was loitering at the doorway. “Hey, Rollie! Here’s some good stuff for you…”

 

After that, Hao Ren found himself a good spot on the couch and watched some TV. He began to feel like he was living a mythical lifestyle—everyone had gotten two Golden Apples; even his cat got half of it. He looked at Rollie snoring at his feet and said thoughtfully, “How would Hesperides feel if she saw this…”

Busy sorting out the groceries, Vivian spoke to Hao Ren without looking up, “Zeus had a similar but different fruit on the tree in his backyard. I tried it and it was sour. But, that was already considered a luxury back then.”

Hao Ren looked up, noticing that Lily was wrestling with her mind with regards to the last apple in her hand. So he asked her, “Did you feel anything after eating the apple?”

“I’m not full yet,” Lily answered very honestly. “I would like to finish the second one, but it’s already the last one.”

“You really want to finish it all at once?” Vivian shot Lily a glance. “That fruit is divine, you should save it. Why don’t you come over and help me pluck the garlic chives. I’ll get the ingredients ready tonight and we’ll make dumplings tomorrow, just in time for Chinese New Year! Oh ya, Biggie, could you please help me swap the gas cylinder out…”

“New Year…” Hao Ren’s mind drifted back in time as he heard those words.

It had been a long time since he had a real New Year. He had been alone all this while and almost forgotten how New Year was supposed to feel like. For the last three years or so, the Spring Festival was to him, just days of eardrum-rupturing firecrackers and hours of staring at the idiot box. He could not even remember when was the last time he had a New Year’s Eve reunion dinner!

He looked around the house and saw the noisy husky; the sharp-tongued, but gentle-at-heart vampire; the siren who liked to sing, but could never catch the key; the demon who could lift a 14-kg propane tank with just his finger; Becky, who was always lying on the sofa, staring at the idiot box like he used to; the little mermaid, who was making squelching noises on his arm; and the four ascetics, who were so ever determined to challenge the bitter cold outside in the name of survival training, or something like that…

Also not forgetting, the naive stupid cat, which had a worry-free life.

Hao Ren exhaled. He felt a sense of satisfaction, which he had never felt before. The big house may have achieved full occupancy rate in the past, but nothing was like these strange creatures. These non-human beings never felt a bit of nervousness in the house right from the beginning; they were restless, they were noisy, and they were there as if it was their own home. He felt a warmth beginning to fill his big house.

“What’re ya thinking about?” Vivian looked up and found Hao Ren looking at her too. “Why the salacious smile?”

Hao Ren grinned. “I look forward to this year’s Spring Festival.”

Vivian was stunned for a moment before she smiled back. “I look forward to it too. I’ve never celebrated New Year with so many people before. It’s the first for me. It feels awesome save for the annoying Doggie.”

“Have I offended you again?” Lily jabbed Vivian on the nose with the garlic chives; though she sounded mean, their gestures were more playful than provocative. “I don’t fancy celebrating New Year with Battie, but this year is going to be a blast without a doubt—I still remember that this time last year, I was in the Greater Khingan Range alone, with no one to talk to. After my meal, I just slept through the day and found myself waking up on the second day of New Year…”

Nangong Wuyue shared her story too. “I’ve been alone all these years too. During last year’s Spring Festival, I was lying in a motel next to a train station, listening to the crackling of firecrackers the whole night…”

“You guys have had better times.” Vivian twisted her mouth and said, “Last year, I spent my New Year in a cave in Shennongjia and I had rats for my New Year’s Eve dinner.”

Hao Ren was almost tearful hearing about Vivian’s miserable past. Before she came here, her life was like a 10,000-episode tragic drama. However, those days were behind her now.

Still lying on the sofa listlessly, Becky looked up. “I have no clue what you guys are talking about. But it sounds like the Spring Festival is a big deal.”

“Yup, it’s a big deal for us.” Hao Ren glanced at Becky and smiled. “It’s our day of reunion. We all come from different places, but we’re together. We should celebrate this jolly time. Enjoy yourselves as much as you want.”

There was a glow in Becky’s eyes before she suddenly became dejected. “Jolly… that makes me think of my comrades in my hometown. I didn’t get a chance to say ‘hi’ to them the last time I was back. They probably think that I died in some ruins somewhere. You promised to find me the door so that I can go back.”

Becky’s lament had stirred the emotions of the others. Nangong Wuyue sighed as she said, “Same goes for my brother, who may still be hiding in some ruins somewhere. He never bothers to come back, not even for a day or two. He should at least call if he can’t make it back.”

“I don’t know about Hesperides too.” Vivian scrunched her brows together. “I’ve never given it a thought during my wandering years, but now that I’ve settled down, I realise that I haven’t really celebrated anything with her. I don’t even remember her birthday.”

“Nangong Sanba may be stuck in the santuary in Athens. We probably won’t be able to contact him at the moment.” Hao Ren sat up. “I’m afraid they won’t be able to make it back for this year’s Spring Festival. But, you guys have reminded me about them. Let’s look forward to next year when we will surely be able to get everyone together.”

The next day, with the blast of the first firecracker in front of Hao Ren’s house, the past was past and everything was anew again!